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Lead Voice #1

(chopping sounds laid over music)

Out in the kitchen

makin somethin bitchin

cuttin up the food on the cuttingboard

cuttin up the food on the cuttingboard

cuttin up the food on the cuttingboard

slice'em and dice'em and just CUT the motherfucker

out in the kitchen makin somethin bitchin

takin something from the fridge

slap it on the cutting board

cuttin up the food on the cutting board

cuttin up the food on the cuttingboard

cuttin up the food on the cuttingboard

slice'em and dice'em and just CUT the motherfucker

So what's up with the cutting board?

Piece'a fucking plastic

isn't that fantastic

I don't give a motherfuck

just cut the motherfucker

cut the motherfucker

cut that motherfucker.

So out in the kitchen

makin something bitchin

Q it up baby

cook me up some Q

cuttin up some chicken legs

cutting up some pork ribs

cuttin up some sausage

cuttin up some beef ribs

have me a motherfuckin feast

yeah have us a motherfuckin feast

cut all those motherfuckers on the cutting board

plastic motherfuckin cutting board

out in the kitchen

fantastic motherfuckin cutting board

bitchin just bitchin

in the kitchen

um hmmmmmmmm

cut cut cut cut

cut cut cut cut

Got my knife really workin

cuttin up the most not the least

cuttin and choppin and slicin

like I was a motherfuckin Priest

in the old days


with the lamb

and the ram

and the ox

cut they throat and bleed'em out, Jack.

cut cut cut cut

chop chop chop chop

on the cutting board

in the kitchen

on the cutting board

in the kitchen

It be bitchin


in the kitchen.

Lead Voice #2



Hey, Mistuh Priest! Mr Priest, Sir!

Hey, Yo!

(no response, just chop chop chop)

Hey, Yo, Niggah!! Wake the fuck up!

I said, Wake up Niggers or you all through!

Lead Voice #1

O hey my man

How you been?

I didn't hardly see you

when you come in.

So come in, come in

come right the fuck on in, my man.

Sit yo ass down, I'm about finish

While I get down

cuttin up this meat

on the cutting board.

Lead Voice #2

Hey man

Lead Voice #1


Lead Voice #2

what's up with the cutting board?

You be tryin to take people out?

Why don't you just use a motherfuckin gun, motherfucker?

That slimey piece of plastic be one nasty cocksucker.

Lead Voice #1

Why you be talkin that shit, my man?

Call my mama's cuttin board nasty.

Lead Voice #2

Because the shoe done fit, my man

It be full'a bad bugs and they be nasty nasty nasty.


Lead Voice #1

Okay Okay I'll play

Lead Voice #2

I ain't playin wit(ch) you

Lead Voice #1

then what the fuck

you be talkin about

sayin that shit

when you be comin around?

Bad bugs, bad bugs

What the fuck you feedin me?

You see any bugs?

Ain't no bugs, no bugs, ya see?

Lead Voice #2

Bad Bugs

Bad Bugs

Whatcha gonna do?

Whatcha gonna do

when they come

to get your ASS

Baaaaaaad muthah fuckas

Lead Voice #1

Nigger you be talkin shit

not one motherfuckin bit

no bugs

no slime

Nigger you just waste my time

Lead Voice #2

Hey man

it's a unpleasant lesson

with them nasty bugs your messin

they on that meat

now they on that board

they be there for a minute maybe

next thing they be havin babies

on your nasty plastic cuttin board

yeah, that White motherfucker, right there


(punctated by sounds of wood being sawn with a power saw)

Hey Bro

Here's you cutting board, brand new

I just made it just foryou

Lead Voice #1

Okay, my man, issa rude mothafuckah

Let me give it a whirl

chop chop

cut cut

You hear what I'm sayin

That's my knife talkin

Makin music with the wood, Jack.

Lead Voice #2

Let me see here

your plastic fantastic

It nasty nasty nasssssssteeeee

You be gettin yo little asses whipped

by that plastic fantastic piece a shit

bad bugs

be crawlin with'em

be slimey with'em

But I be rhymey with'em

Put my tunes to'em

Put my saw thru'em


I'll cut that motherfucker

like it never been cut before. Screw'em

(sound of the same saw cutting plastic into small pieces)

Lead Voice #1

You best not hang around too long

My mama see her board be gone

she'll kick your little negro ass

around the block for what you done

Lead Voice #2

she'll thank me bro'

she'll know it so

she knows what's good

cut meat on wood

Lead Voice #1

she gonna kick your ass

and my ass too

she'll fuck you up

she say hey, fuck you


Lead Voice #2

Lighten up bro

just tell yo mama

that wooden board

from Yokohama

and then you tell'er

about the bugsy bit

and she be knowin

bout that wooden shit

that wood dissolves

them nasty bugs

just like you swep'em

under the rugs

Nasty nasty nasty nasty

plastic motherfucker

wood is cool

that's the golden rule

kills e coli kill salmonella

and I want to tell ya

they's some nasty fellas

cut cut cut cut

cut cut cut cut

on your new cool

golden rule



cutting board

Lead Voice #1

You a crazy motherfucker

Done. All done.

Put this Q in the stew.

Let's go get us

somethin to eat.

("screen door" closes)

Lead Voice #1 (cont'd)

Let's go down to Flint's

Lead Voice #2

Find some pussy.

Get some skin.


Lead Voice #1


We be gone, homes.

Car Screams Away, a 5.0



(c) 2003 Richard Katz. FrogOJT Systems, Berkeley, CA. email to Richard Katz

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